Pro IQRA News Updates.
The UK rejoices after a young family is kidnapped from their home and handed over to the unrepentant accomplice of a serious sex offender.
Frogmore Cottage, which was set aside for dignified and obligatory members of the royal family to live in, and not media-hating monsters like the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, has been taken away to become the new home of good old Prince Andrew.
“He’s made Britain sick,” said a palace aide, “a nice little cottage like that meant for the likes of them. After all they’ve done in America. Indefensible.”
“They have no right to a blessing house after the lies they have told. So it is given to Prince Andrew instead, a kind and honest fellow who has done nothing to upset anyone.”
“They spent £2.4m of their own money just three years ago to make it the perfect family home, and now it will be the abode of a 62-year-old bachelor with a history of questionable friendships. They are served by right of blood.”
“I, and the whole country, hope he rubs his aging genitals along their precious copper bath and sends them the video. Indeed it should be in the King’s Speech next Christmas. Give the country a real boost.”
“It appears to be a lovely little place,” said the Duke of York. “Secluded. Well away from prying eyes.”