quota9 minutes agoAuthor: Nitin Sharma
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So far this year, more than 20 children have committed suicide in Kota. The administration tries different ways to prevent suicide.
My grandson had to prepare for engineering and medicine in Kota. Before we came here we had seen those scary videos where children die by hanging and some by jumping. There was a fear that our children would also enter that darkness. That is why I, the grandfather of these children, have started coming here and staying with them for the past four months.
Like Ranjan Mishra, a resident of Samastipur, Bihar, hundreds of families are now moving to Kota for their children. Bhaskar spoke to such families…
Nisha Poddar from Bhagalpur Bihar believes in motivating the children instead of burdening them.
Case-1: I notice facial expressions after the exam.
Nisha Poddar (Bhagalpur), who teaches her brother-in-law’s children in Kota, said that the way these incidents happen and you hear about it every two to three days, then there is definitely tension. At first, when my nephew came to stay with me here for coaching, I was also worried because I was taking responsibility for him. I keep an eye on every activity of the child.
When he comes after taking the test, I try to understand his expression. Although I know the child well, understand him and motivate him again and again. If something happens, he comes himself and shares it with me. The time is fixed from playing to studying. Yes, no goal was set for him that son, you are going to be a doctor. All I am saying is that you must study well in Kota.
According to Nisha, no one else can reduce or justify the increasing stress in children as much as their parents.
Case-2: Children get stressed, that’s why I’m with them.
Sushma Chaturvedi says that it is only the mother to whom children can express their feelings openly.
Sushma Chaturvedi, a resident of Sangod, has been living in Kota with her daughter since July. Daughter is preparing for NEET. Sushma said the reason I came to Kota is that I have a daughter. The environment here becomes such that children take stress due to studies, so that children don’t get worried and if there is any problem, they get to share it, that’s why I have followed.
By living together, children can easily express their opinions and are also supervised. Every day we ask what happened in the coaching, children tell us things, sometimes they tell us something negative and then we explain it to them. Parents should stick together as the child is studying at a high level and no one has come to appear for the 10th class exam.
Case-1: Saw suicide in the neighborhood and then decided to stay with the kids
Aparna Ranjan has come to Kota from Gujarat city of Valsad just so that her son (JEE) and daughter (NEET) can prepare here without stress. Aparna says that whenever the news of suicide comes, she feels scared. But the consolation is that I myself am here to take care of my child. We have taught our children to believe in God and believe in hard work. This is why they are never discouraged.
Aparna Ranjan believes that it is the values that inspire the children, instill confidence in them.
In the community where we lived in Gujarat, a student also committed suicide by jumping from the roof. At that time, our children were small, but I had decided that wherever the children went to study, we would live together. The very year, when we were planning to send children to Kota, similar news came. But we had decided that we would live with them. See, if parents live with the child, his activities are known.
Case-4: When grandfather saw the suicide video, grandfather sent the daughter to the children.
Kapil Dev Shah, a resident of Bhagalpur (Bihar), is a businessman by profession. He told that he had come to Kota for four months to prepare. Then his mother was also there. But he had to return home for an important work. Recently the news came that a child jumped from the roof, we were horrified to hear this news and the children also could not sleep the whole night.
Kapil Dev Shah knows that only their mother can know children’s thoughts.
We called the landlord and asked him to take care of the children. Then I sent my daughter to Kota. Even when she left Kota, she was told to call back or stay with the children. Now his mother lives with him so there is no worry.
Children write their feelings on the walls of the temple
There is Radha Krishna Temple in Talwandi, Kota. The students who live here alone without parents write their feelings instead of Hare Krishna Hare Ram on the walls of this temple. Every day, hundreds of children write their problems and pains on the 12 feet high parikrama wall of the temple, which helps to understand what they want…
While circling around the temple, the coaching students write their feelings on the white wall in this way.
Children feel that there is a God who understands their pain. Many children come to the temple and start crying.
Temple spokesperson Ravi Aggarwal said the wall was painted about two months ago, but the children continue to write again. This tradition has been going on for about ten years. At first we used to quit. But when we saw the children’s feelings, we let them write. When the wall is full.
When there is no space left, the wall is painted. The situation is such that children write messages at the height when there is no space below. Children stay away from their parents, therefore they cannot share their thoughts with anyone. But they come to God in the temple and write their wishes.
Children cannot express their feelings under stress
Guidelines have been made several times to prevent suicide in Kota. But there is very little talk about the factors that make children commit suicide – loneliness, study pressure, increased competition. Recently an organization called Rah conducted a survey in Kota. Counseling and helpline were operated. During this, two girls expressed their feelings, which seems to be the problem of almost every coaching student….
NGO – What happened, you seem upset?
Student- No, nothing happened.
NGO – You sent many messages and then deleted them?
Student- That gentleman, we will not be chosen.
NGO – Why is there no selection?
Student- Nothing happens to us. Can’t concentrate, forget what you’re reading.
NGO – Why do you feel this? It happens that sometimes we forget what we read?
Student- Yesterday we also studied, today we also studied but we can’t do it. Can’t come up with an answer (during this the student starts crying)
Stress in children dominates when they start thinking “I can’t do it”. But if it is not removed from it, ‘I can’ becomes.
NGO – Cool, please calm down.
Student- Yesterday we studied all day, revised but we didn’t get any questions, even today we studied two and a half hours a day, I don’t know what has happened to us, we can’t even study.
NGO – You calm down first.
Student- Don’t know where time is wasted, we don’t know when to sleep and when to wake up. Goes to bed early but doesn’t wake up in the morning, wakes up in the morning and doesn’t study. Get up so early that your mind remains tired. I can’t understand anything, we can’t do anything.
NGO – First of all put it out of your mind, it’s not happening now, it’s a different matter. Stop thinking you won’t be able to do it.
Student- Think unnecessary things in your mind.
When the NGO called this student and counseled her, it was found that the girl could not follow her schedule properly. Sometimes I felt alone without my parents. When she started crying at home, she was scolded instead. Therefore, not only was her studies disrupted, she was also unable to express her feelings to anyone.