Pro IQRA News Updates.
Welcome to our regular collection of the jokes that have made us laugh the most over the past 7 days. We recommend that you read this without interruption – and not out loud, because not all of them are safe for work…or commuting.
Since when has Gwyneth Paltrow been detoxing? Surely she can’t let anything go at this point where does she end up?
– Molly Goodfellow (@hansmollman) March 14, 2023
Business Drama Breaks During the Day: Go on a Cruise Plan Your Funeral Buy a Motorized Armchair Do It Now You Don’t Have Much Time
– Michael Spicer (@MrMichaelSpicer) March 15, 2023
I ask for shower gel and he brings me minge napalm.
– Ina (@hatcymraes) March 14, 2023
If I fall under the bus tomorrow, I’m really going to need someone to erase my eBay history. pic.twitter.com/T3BqKaDTRP
– Alistair Coleman (@alistaircoleman) March 15, 2023
It was a Parisian private eye. She was the chief provincial lady who made her own jam for the church ceremony. And when they got together, she was a pro!
Coming to ITV this fall. pic.twitter.com/XPHrCCmqH0
— Beau (@DrBeauBeaumont) March 12, 2023
I don’t feed into the London stereotype, but I just introduced myself to my new neighbors who are moving in…only to find out that they are actually my current neighbors, who have lived next door to me for four years, and are moving out
– Gareth King (@garethking_) March 15, 2023
in @tweet You can buy an empty jar of jam for £2 or a similar jar full of jam for £1.71. Your movement … pic.twitter.com/z3qOzSkKWU
— DavidJWood (@RedWoodyLFC) March 13, 2023
A semicolon is nice but I don’t know if that makes sense. If you never lose it, “I still got it” is the same proposition, sure? Unless you’ve lost it a bit and got it back. I didn’t get the “command” as far as I know, so I’m neutral here. pic.twitter.com/KUPnyY5k8f
– Mark Watson (@watsoncomedian) March 14, 2023
The eighteen runes pic.twitter.com/k0ESFtwhsU
– Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) March 14, 2023
Have a look at some coconut oil leave in conditioner online and check reviews. One person gave it 1 star because “I don’t like this product because it has a bad smell but then I don’t like coconut.” And now I sit here, caught between laughter and despair.
– Amanda (Pandamoanimum) March 13, 2023
“I really like you, can I take you to dinner?”
Sir, if you really loved me, you’d send dinner to my house and let me be without clothes instead of creating a food hostage situation.
Moderately entertaining gay wolf (Moderately Used) March 16, 2023
The use of the singular here makes it sound like it’s about a specific and apparently immortal werewolf who was previously banished for doing something wrong. pic.twitter.com/pLxM7ZWzf3
– Sunshine Moon (SunshineMoonRX) March 15, 2023
The post 25 of our favorite funny tweets of the week debuted on The Poke.